just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize