What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
