I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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