dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
