My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
