I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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