new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize