Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
