We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
