Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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