My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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