ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
