hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
