the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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