He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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