Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dicks are not precious.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
