Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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