In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
