Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
