someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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