Swine flu is the new snow day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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