With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
