it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
