U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
