Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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