We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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