I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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