spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
