Are we in a gay sports bar?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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