i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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