I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
