No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
