Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
