i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
