I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
