put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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