so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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