dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
