Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
