Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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