Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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