He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
