Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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