note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
