Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im calling her cock vulture from now on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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