google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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