My brain says no but my pants say off.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
