Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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