He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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