I got chris browned last night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
MIDGETS
????
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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