This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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