You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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