Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize