he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
