she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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