i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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