dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize